Even from the casual observer’s viewpoint, you can tell when someone is smiling or frowning but there is something more to that, be it whether you can tell when the smile is genuine or fake. This is a fact in life that we don’t have to run away from, it is exercised in every aspect of our lives for example; security agents, interviewers, politicians, pastors, reverends, and relationships.
Body language is defined as nonverbal and mostly unconscious communication through the use of gestures, postures, and facial expressions. To the trained eye, it can reveal the thoughts of every one as well as their current emotional condition.
Body language plays a big role in our lives. According to Professor Albert Mehrabian’s research, 93% of our communication is nonverbal and only 7% contributes to what we actually say or verbal communication.
I first realized body language with the way my Dad could tell what people were up to, by merely looking at them, though at the time I didn’t know it was actually called body language and I didn’t know how useful it was in daily life. At the risk of sounding modest, I will give an example when my Dad had heard information (Intel) that there were felons on the run and were being looked for by authorities. He recognized the two fellas who looked suspicious and had to call the DISO and gave him the description of the suspects and the number plate of the car in which they were going to travel. Precautions were taken; the suspects were apprehended on the way. When interrogated, it was found that they were the felons.
On another occasion, when my Dad was going upcountry and had called me to find him at Centenary Bank, Namirembe Road as he was in a hurry. Having called him on the account of not having money, he gave it to me. Whilst giving it to me, he recognized someone who was looking at us and knowingly whispered, “That’s a thief, but you go I will handle him.”
No sooner had I taken just one step from my father than the ‘suspect’ started to move in a direction similar to the one I was taking. My dad played blind. On approaching the spot in which I had left my father, he questioned him, “Onaenda wapi wewe?” A swahilli expression translated as “Where are you going?” The acquisition caught the ‘suspect’ off guard clearly because he quickly put his palms together in an expression as if to ask for forgiveness and said, “Sebo nsonyiwa.” A Luganda statement to mean ‘Forgive me sir’. My father sulkily laughed, called me back and said, “Didn’t I tell you he was going to follow you?” It was from then that I learnt to be conscious of the people around me.
Of course there are things in body language that we recognize unconsciously. For example when you are talking to someone and they frown, you will obviously know something is definitely not going right or they are feeling negative towards you, so you have to find a way of changing a topic or find out what’s going on with them.
I started becoming more seriously aware of body language when I watched a series “LIE TO ME.” It was very a good one because though there were exaggerations, I got the general picture of the whole concept of body language and started researching about nonverbal language. As I researched, I started applying what I had read in real life. It was not as easy as I thought at first, because sometimes I would talk to someone without paying attention to their body language then I remember I had to do so after parting with them. Nonverbal language is not as obvious as you may think especially to an untrained eye. It’s a series of coordinated signals that you have to follow to come up with a conclusion that you are interpreting the nonverbal signals right.
It usually takes me some time to get along with people I don’t know, as I first have to understand the way they behave before I feel the sense of engagement with them. Usually when I am in social places, I first take some time to stand or sit somewhere in a corner and see the way people are communicating to each other. You will be amazed at how people blunder on their first encounters with strangers especially if they don’t pay attention to their body language.
The reason as to why I took you through that background is because it would be inappropriate for me not to tell you where I drew inspiration for my interest in body language. In the next articles about body language, I will take you through how to accurately interpret the gestures and their meanings.
Nassymatt 